Finding Myself Again…

 

For nearly two decades, I embodied the non-heroine persona, allowing others to decide the direction my life ventured.  

Being unable to voice my desires, or perhaps it was the fear of disappointing anyone, created deep despair in my soul that eventually manifested in physical and emotional wounds.  My dangerously romanticized perception of love created an unfulfilled, resentful heart who completely lost herself attempting compromise.  I was always aware that I yearned for something greater, even though I was unable (unwilling? afraid?) to define what that was.  Inevitably, something had to change.  That something was me.  

Over two years, I see-sawed out of my tired old life in the hopes of finding more of everything while fighting the fear of losing all that was familiar.  But comfort is not happiness.

I am determined to be the heroine in this beautiful existence; to follow my own path, create my adventure, embrace authenticity and appreciate everything offered me.  I yearn to fully experience everything I avoided my entire life so I may discover joy, passion, and deep love – in whatever forms these are destined to appear.

This is my journey to find my voice, face my fears and introduce myself to the incredible possibilities in life.  It’s about learning to dance in the rain…

 

Love happens when you want it to.  It’s an intention.  Only when you are open to receiving and absorbing love, can it occur.                                                              

– Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea