I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to move forward while remaining true to who I am. Regretting past mistakes has kept me in a loop; spinning in no particular direction.
In recent attempts to define my boundaries, decisions I made with the best intentions have done nothing but cause pain.
Why do we push people away even though we crave the intimacy of deep connection? I am tired of losing people I love because the fear of exposure is overwhelming. We live in a culture that values independence but what is the point when, at the end of the day, the love and support that sharing ourselves provides, is missing? I fully support having boundaries, taking care of our needs and asserting our inner strength. But I believe that genuine intimacy is the real secret to rewarding relationships and without it we never truly know each other.
I am reassuring my passionately sensitive self that depending on those I care about is not a weakness to be avoided. Censoring who I am makes me feel like a fraud and I’m exhausted being tethered to my insecurities. I am making the conscious decision to forgive those who f*cked me over after I opened up my heart. I know if I don’t, no one will ever experience anything more than a curated version of myself. I would rather feel the serenity of knowing I am loved for who I am than continuously worry that someone will reject me for finding out.
Love is only worthwhile when we are appreciated as the perfectly imperfect people we undeniably are. So I begin with myself.
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